April 9, 2011

The Hardest Part



It shouldn't be this way. We shouldn't be packing up a closet that was meant for Margot, shouldn't be telling Stella that we lost her little sister. We shouldn't be having to face reminders around every corner. The flowers shouldn't be covered in sympathy. The cards shouldn't be wet with heartache. Stella shouldn't have to be so confused by our constant tears and blank stares. Our families shouldn't be flying in for this reason. Her body shouldn't have gone through all of that for nothing. We shouldn't be picking up her ashes and deciding on a memorial site and thinking about a service.

We shouldn't have come home empty handed.

And yet here we are, facing this reality, without any warning or instruction book.
Oh, how it hurts. Oh, how it hurts.


And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


Coldplay. "Fix You." X&Y

16 comments:

Marcia said...

Weeping with you....

Megan said...

There have been so many lyrics over the last 2 weeks that have made me think of you guys; these are perfect. May love, Stella, eachother, your families and music carry you through this dark time.

Beck said...

I keep coming back to this post, starting another comment, and then deleting it to come back again. Do you know how many people want to fix this for you? I don't know what peace can look like in these days, but I am praying it for you all, Jackson family.

Linda said...

Our hearts are aching for you all...We are praying, especially today as you have the memorial service. Our love, Linda & Randy

Anonymous said...

Prayers going out from IL to CA on this Sunday

Mandy said...

continuing to pray.

Jess said...

What a small world we live in. It's amazing how God connects people in the quietest ways. I am a friend of your sister and my best friend from high school is a playgroup friend of Kari. I pray for healing for your family and every time I hear this song I think of you guys and just pray somehow, someway, you can find strength and hope in the Lord to heal your broken hearts. Go Bless you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

Anonymous said...

may you find comfort and love from those that surround you. may you be able to find peace and rest, in the midst of your grief. continuing to cover your precious family in prayer and singing praises that kari is home with you. day by day.

Shirley said...

Dear Josh & Kari. We are with you in spirit and so sorry this happened. Know you are loved and held close to our hearts.

Anonymous said...

Kari,

Today, please know how loved and special you are to so many people here in IL and IA. May you find peace in His arms, love in the many embraces of family, and joy in Stella's laughter! So thankful for you!

SHARLENE said...

I am so sorry for your loss. May God hold you close.

glo said...

So very sorry. I know this is such a very difficult time for all of you indeed. There really are no words. Just prayers for His peace and continued healing touch.

Gail P Smith said...

Daddy Josh,
Because of your tender words of courage so many of us will always carry your sweet baby Margot in our hearts.
I am continually praying your family knowing that God promised He is near the broken-hearted and will heal the crushed in spirit. From Iowa
Gail

Heather said...

Damn Josh. That was so beautiful.

Kimberlee said...

Josh & Kari,
You don't know me, but I'm crying with you and for you. I go to SLWC. I started going there 3 years ago. After I lost my 10 year old girl, my gift - Daryn Renee', I was unable to return to the church we had been going to prior. I am just so sorry for your pain. Pain really doesn't begin to describe this experience. She is a beautiful little girl, Margot. I wonder sometimes, when I connect with people here who have lost a child, is my girl connecting with yours right now as well? I am praying for God to touch you, because there is nothing beside Him powerful enough to touch this.

Mike and Amanda said...

praying and thinking of you guys often.

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