Comments on JACK at RANDOM: Muddle Through Somehow

I've always felt I was somehow muddling along ...

2011-12-26T12:50:26.955-08:00

I've always felt I was somehow muddling along throughout my whole life, waiting for somebody to notice that I was actually completely incompetent! And since Georgina died, I feel that I am muddling along even more keenly.

As Mary Beth says, what else can we do? In this strange world where not a great deal seems to make sense.

I hope that Christmas passed peacefully for you, Kari and Stella. Remembering your dear Margot xo

Muddling through is the best way to describe it. T...

2011-12-26T04:37:14.520-08:00

Muddling through is the best way to describe it. There really is no other way to get through, because so much makes no sense. Still having to breathe with your lungs ripped out, still having to exist while your heart is shattered.

I hope you guys had a peaceful Christmas. Sending lots of love.
xo

Christmas colliding with nine months - ouch. All m...

2011-12-26T01:30:58.974-08:00

Christmas colliding with nine months - ouch. All my love to your beautiful family.
xo

Nine months is a hard milestone. My love and thoug...

2011-12-25T13:42:00.187-08:00

Nine months is a hard milestone. My love and thoughts are with you and Kari and Stella as you find solace in each other and grounding in the little joys of each other. xo

Wow!!! I didn't know the words. They are certa...

2011-12-24T22:46:47.449-08:00

Wow!!! I didn't know the words. They are certainly fitting. Although I know I'm not the first person to experience loss, to continue on... Muddle through until??? Sometimes it feels very solitary. I am so grateful for my Internet baby loss friends for reminding me I am not alone.
New years eve has always been my favorite holiday. I liked it because there was no expectation except to look ahead at how wonderful things can be. How much better we can be. How we grow, love, explore in new and wonderful ways. New years really always felt light, sparkly and full of hope. This year more than any ever before I am hoping for a spark of looking forward to more happiness, a better year. But it also makes me sad because really 20011 was wonderful in my expectation of Camille. My family was growing the pregnancy was actually quite lovely. But it ended so tragically that all I can focus on is the loss and themissing and the without.

So yes. I am trying for Kai's sake to have a merry little Christmas now. Muddling through is exactly how it feels. I hope you are finding some joy in watching your precious first born enjoy the holiday while wishing you had your second born too. Sending love your way.