I have four kids. Stella, Margot, Leo and Vivian. 

Three of them are here and one of them isn't. I can say that now without crying, without wanting to crawl into a hole, without my guts doing somersaults. Fatherhood has been a stimulating, complicated, risky endeavor, full of the most profound beauty and heartache I have ever experienced in life.

Stella Rose was born on February 21, 2009, after thirty-six hours of labor.
9lbs, 4oz, 21 inches. Blue eyes. Black mohawk.

Some of my favorite writing about her: 

Birth Story: Pizza, Contractions and Solitaire
6 Weeks: Swimming In Poop, etc.
12 Weeks: Death and Normality
8 Months: My Perfect Day
1 Year: One Year In
First Word: GO
Character Sketch: SRJ
17 Months: A Few Of My Favorite Things
The Hardships: I Should Be Hiking Right Now
A Letter To Stella After Margot's Death: Standing In the Rain
Margot and Stella: Fly Like Tinkerbell
3 Years: 35 Months Old Is Cool With Me 
A Letter: In Case I Die Too Early To Say These Things
Stella Goes to NYC: Elevators to the Sky
Stella and Leo: These Two

Some of my favorite photos, mostly taken by my brilliant friends Mel and Abi:

Margot June was born still on March 24, 2011, after a tragic fall on the sidewalk.
7lbs, 11oz, 20 inches. Blue eyes. Daddy's nose. Momma's cheeks.

Some of my favorite writing about her:

Birth Story: Four Rooms and A Hallway 
The Accident: 2+1
The First Post: Margot June
Saying Goodbye: The Day We Said Goodbye and She Rode Around the City Alone
Picking Up Her Ashes: Ash Friday
Photos From the Memorial: The Memorial
Donating Blood: Old Blood, Young Body
Margot In the Water: Cold Water
5 Months: 2:12am
Letter #23: If Margot Could Talk
6 Months: Falling In Love
Letter #63: To M On Thanksgiving
Just Her: Beautiful Empty [on glow in the woods]
Printing A Photo Of Her: 5X7
Her Future: Daydream [on glow in the woods]
Her Stuff: Cleaning
Little Sister: For Her Sake

Some of my favorite photos:

Leo James was born on May 7, 2012, after waiting nine long months for him to arrive.
7lbs, 13oz,  21 inches.

Some of my favorite writing about him:

The Announcement: 2+1 
My Boy In Utero: His Hair Swooshes Back and Forth
Introducing Leo: Introductions
Birth Story: An [unnatural] Birth Story
1 Month: Finger Feeding At 1am and Other Tales From Fatherhood
Father's Day: 3:27am on Father's Day
4 Months: Bouncing To the Blues and Other Tales From Fatherhood 
Turning One: Inside Jokes and Other Notes
Siblings: These Two

Some of my favorite photos:

Vivian Lucia was born on November 28, 2014.
7lbs, 15oz, 19 inches. Blue eyes. Black hair

Some of my favorite writing about her: 

Introductions: Vivian Lucia

Some of my favorite photos:


Anonymous said...

What beautiful children you and Kari have! We love you guys.


Jessica said...

My rainbow was born just 8 days before your rainbow baby <3 You have a beautiful family... <3

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