November 27, 2005

Generation X :: Terminal Wanderlust

[top 3 movie of the year: Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang]
[new movie review: Walk The Line]

Terminal Wanderlust: "A condition common to people of transient middle-class upbringings. Unable to feel rooted in any one environment, they move continually in the hopes of finding an idealized sense of community in the next location." (Generation X, 171)

Anybody relate? I think Christians might call this "Chronic Discontentment." I used to fight this internal battle - will I ever be satisfied? Will I ever find the community I desire? Will I ever stop thinking about what's next? But not anymore.

I figured out a couple of things in the last 5 years:

1. That idealized community we all long for (like on tv's "Friends") is almost impossible to experience. First, not everyone wants community on the same levels. Second, you have to sacrifice to experience deep community, and not everyone is willing to sacrifice on the same levels. And third, there isn't an apartment building out there that has at least three vacancies, all on the same floor. KEY WORDS: sacrifice & want.

2. That idealized "next location" isn't actually better. The reality is the grass is just as dull and kind-of-brown on the other side. Plus, moving takes a lot of time and money. KEY WORD: reality.

3. That idealized perfect location isn't actually attainable either. The place where you live in the perfect community in the perfect city in the perfect state. Even the best places on earth (Sydney for example) can be lonely and dreary. And funnier still, places in middle America where the weather sucks can be exciting and hip. KEY WORDS: perfect & lonely.

So here's the tension: I want deep friendships with people I share life with. And I want to live in a neighborhood/city that I love. But I also want to be content, no matter where I am. I want more...but I don't want to suffer from terminal wanderlust.

Call it wanderlust, call is passion, call it idealism - on April 1st 2005 - Kari and I decided to go for it. We had an ideal (a vision if you will) of what could be - and we we going to make decisions that would hopefully lead to our dream of doing life with our friends in an urban setting. If it didn't least we knew we tried our best. And if it did?

The wanderlust dilemna will continue in a few days. :)

[for the sake of this being too long...and knowing you'll never read something too long...I'll post the second half in a few days.]


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