December 27, 2014

It is 64 degrees on Christmas Eve and the sun is on its way down, hoping to clear the horizon before the dinner rush. 

My five ear old has an ear infection, my two year old has a fever and I'm doped up on just enough NyQuil to simultaneously make myself feel better and allow me to take care of the older kids while Kari and the baby hole up in our bedroom. 

The older kids. That little s on the end of kid is just about the best thing I have ever written. Such a telling implication. More than two. 

I feel surprised by VIvian, by her sudden arrival into our family. We spent the better part of a pregnancy doing our best to avoid the subject, ignoring the ball of matter growing on auto pilot. It felt easier that way, like we could just pretend everything was as usual. So we put our heads down and worked and talked about our days and went to bed distracting ourselves from the present and the fear and the possibility of a living baby at the end of the tunnel. And now she is here and SHE IS HERE and I'm cramming nine months of mental and emotional preparation into a few weeks. 

Vivian Lucia. Life and Light.