November 18, 2006

No Longer the Weakest [stories]

My day started off poorly yesterday. Have YOU ever brushed your teeth and then tried to gulp down cold water? It hurts bad. It's like pouring hot water on an ice covered windshield. I felt like my teeth we're going to explode.

You wouldn't know it from looking at me, but I go to the gym five times a week. That's twenty times a month which means I pay $1.75 for every visit. I could have paid $12.50 for my visit last night. As I climbed up to my nemesis, I noticed a class that was happening just in front of me. The instructor was happy and swinging his arms with authority. Sounds good, right? Not quite. He was 5'8" and weighed 220+ pounds. He and the six participants were doing pilates. I tripped like six times in 20 minutes on the stair climber. That's a trip every 3.3 minutes.

My night got even better when I saw a young man on the bench press. He was benching less weight than I bench. It's remarkable really. In my 13 months at the gym, I've never seen anyone bench press less weight than me. It hangs over my head like the thought of drinking water after my morning brush. If you must know, he was benching 95 pounds. I bench more. That's all you need to know.


Anonymous said...

*Adam has a flashback of high school days in which he meticulously recorded his maximum bench weight - and cringes. Oh that poor runner boy... Days I'm glad are behind me.

kari said...

HAHAHAHA. you've never seen anyone bench press less than you. that is such a funny thing to write. LOL.

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