January 20, 2012

35 Months Old Is Cool With Me



Stella, my darling girl, where has the time gone? How have you become so old, so downright smart, so fiercely independent, in such short notice? Where is my crawler, my swaddled babe? Where is that mohawk?


At every stage of your life thus far, I have anxiously anticipated the next stage. I couldn’t wait for you to smile and when you smiled, I couldn’t wait for you to laugh. And when you laughed, I couldn’t wait for you to eat solids and when you ate solids I couldn’t wait for you to crawl. And then I couldn’t wait for you to walk, which was so glorious and back saving and miraculous. I couldn’t wait for you use words, and when you said you first word, GO, I couldn’t wait for more words. And then I couldn’t wait for you to potty train, and when you kicked diapers to the curb, I couldn’t wait for you to talk, which was something I anticipated almost as much as your arrival. To hear you utter words and sentences, to listen to your mind piecing thoughts together, was a dream come true. And when you started talking freely, sometime in the fall, I found myself in a strange place. 

I don’t want you to grow up anymore.


Can you stay here with me in time, can you stop getting older? I don’t want these bottomless free hugs to go away, or cuddling with you before bed, my arm wrapped around you, my face against your back. I like being best friends, I like talking about every little part of your day, I like all of the fun things we get to do together, like dancing in the evenings to Florence + The Machine, or running errands together, or playing in the yard with your friends or building things like castles and cardboard forts. I like the constant jokes, even though poopoo butt jokes can only take us so far. I’d like these things between us to exist forever. Capiche?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love the little girl you’re becoming.

13 comments:

Molly said...

Ditto to Sloane!! Aren't they at such a wonderful age? The little blossoming personalities are amazing, and I know y'all feel as lucky as I do to have your little treasure! Y'all are a precious family!!

brianna said...

Yes, Stella, stay put because you are the absolute most darling girl- a perfect mixture of your equally darling parents.

I'm thinking carbonite a la Han Solo might do the trick. What? Too nerdy? Did I just totally give myself away?

Papa John said...

This is one of the finest family pictures I have seen in a long time!

surfjams said...

That made me cry. So beautiful. Such an amazing dad you are! She will read this when she is 17 and feel so secure, so strong in this big wide world, because her daddy was so present and SAW her through every stage. Thank you for being a good dad to your little girls. Little girls need good dads like you.

loribeth said...

Cute picture. : ) This reminded me that my BIL recently had some family videos transferred to DVD. His two boys (our nephews) are now 23 (!!) & 19, but when most of the movies were taken, they were toddlers/preschoolers. I got tears in my eyes watching them. I love the fine young men that they've grown up to be, but watching those old movies, I really missed those two adorable toddlers with the curly hair & big brown eyes & soothers. : ) Enjoy it while it lasts!

Hope's Mama said...

Gorgeous, Josh. Though Angus is a few months behind Stella, I'm having many of these same thoughts myself. The talking. Shit it is cool! I just love the funny sentences coming from his mouth, so well thought out for someone just 26 months.
Great pic of you guys.

JR said...

Perfectly said. I don't know where the time, the mohawk, and the little babe have gone... You and Kari have raised a beautiful, beautiful girl.

I miss and love you, Stella.

Renel said...

YES..Our children, the beauty, intelligence, radiance, hilarious, energy packed, interesting, kind, magnificent little beings. I am so in love and am thankful everyday for the living breathing boy I have.
I love this age...I know it is filled with challenges, but everything outweighs them. I am so glad you have Stella.

Gwen Jackson said...

So glad we got this picture :). Love our little Stella... still little, but growing up so fast.

Dad and I enjoyed every stage of raising all of you, but there our times when I wish I could go back and hold you tight in my arms, or pull you up on my lap to read a book, or lay next to you in bed and listen. I know you treasure each season of Stella's life. Keep on...

Jamie said...

Oh man...mom's comment and the post and a bit teary anyway :). Give her a big hug from us. She is a sweet thing. Love you.

TracyOC said...

Not sure I've ever commented here. If not, I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your little Margot June.

I felt this post on the cellular level. Watching my C grow up and turn into a person kills me in all the best and worst ways. But, it sure as hell beats the alternative.

Best to you and your family.

Caroline said...

She's a lucky little girl. My 7 month old is growing up far too fast and it baffles me that time can move one so quickly during these happy moments yet it crawled by painfully slow after my son died. Not cool time, not cool.

Tash said...

So beautiful Josh. Your Stella has two incredible parents. Love the photo of you guys :)

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