March 10, 2013

Turning Four, Blowing Kisses

She still likes pink. And black, green and every other color except brown, as she mentioned a few days ago.
She spent last weekend at her Grandma's house, both Friday and Saturday night.  As she was walking towards Grandma's car on Friday evening, I could see in her eyes that this moment was an important one for her, her last moment to make a decision whether she would go or stay. She seemed torn. Alone. Independent. And just as I expected her to change her mind and run back towards the house, she turned and blew me a kiss goodbye.

Her most recently thrifted stuffed animal was a furry teddy bear. She watched it spin in the dryer for the duration of it's somersaults, her legs crossed as she viewed intently. Poor bear didn't survive. Lost it's stuffing. She recovered quickly, as she does in these kind of losses.

Watching her hold and play and chat with Leo is almost too sacred for words. Her love for him seems endless, right from the very start until these days as she protects him from small objects and echoes words of affirmation and feeds him in the back seat while we drive, among other sisterly pursuits. I long for my M in these moments and the life with a doting Stella that she missed out on. I ache for what Stella lost in sisterhood.

She and her cousin Miles wrestled a little while back, rolling on the ground over a plastic arrow, each trading punches and slaps and tackles until they grew tired and retreated to their respective parental corners. It was a thing of beauty, watching the two of them work it out on their own, the familial bond growing.

If there is one thing to be said about the current state of my Stella, on her fourth birthday, is that she's a real trooper for tagging along on her parents sudden whim to move to Indiana in the middle of winter. She is cold and homesick and taking it all in stride.

Happy fourth, my sweet babe. Where has the time gone?


Hope's Mama said...

What a gorgeous daughter you have. I loved this post.

mel barlow said...

beautiful girl! love you guys.

Gwen Jackson said...

Ah, our Stella is growing up and has already experienced the joys and sorrows of life for her young age. I love her and I'm loving this new season of family life with all of you in close proximity. Real close in a few weeks :). Love all the photos. How quickly they grow.

Suzanne said...

<3 Beautiful <3

Em said...

Just started following your blog. My mom recommended it to me, and I'm so glad she did. You write beautifully. Thanks for sharing these glorious family moments with the rest of us.

Tash said...

Beautiful post and beautiful series of photos. Stella is blooming :)

loribeth said...

She is just gorgeous. :)

Post a Comment